911 Is Not For Fast Food Disputes

Jean Fortune was thirsty. So, like many of us, he stopped by his local Burger King to get a nice, cold lemonade. All was going swimmingly until the rude BK employee told Jean, “I am sorry, we are out of lemonade”.


Now Jean might be a lot of things but he is no fool. Clearly, this was a case of racial profiling. Because he is from Haiti, the BK employee made the snap decision not to serve him based on the color of his skin. How else could you possibly explain it? Do you think a major metropolitan Burger King actually just “ran out” of lemonade? Puh-leeze.


Not accepting this ridiculous answer, Jean promptly called 911. He would not be denied his nutritious, thirst quenching lemonade! Not surprisingly, the 911 operator quickly identified Jean’s Haitian accent and promptly began to give him the run around. She suggested to Jean that calling 911 was not an appropriate response to being told you can’t have any lemonade. Would she have made such a comment to a brother or whitey? I sincerely doubt it.


Worse still, she spent probably 5 more minutes chastising poor Jean about how he should have never called because it is a non emergency and ties up the 911 system. Here’s a thought sweetheart, hang up the damned phone! Don’t send a cruiser, don’t berate the poor guy, just tell him nicely you can’t help him and hang up. Problem solved.


A police unit finally responded and, big surprise here, sided with Burger King. Just another example of “the man” keeping my Haitian brother down. Not to worry, Jean. Chick-Fil-A is more than happy to have your business and serve you even better tasting lemonade. And to you people at the Boynton Beach Burger King, you can stick your lemonade where the sun don’t shine. Damned racists.


One last fast food point. I was behind an elderly gentleman at the drive through today. I am so proud of the fact that I did not leap from my vehicle, pull him from his car, and promptly beat what remaining life he has out of him. Hint to old people: if it going to take you an honest to God five minutes to place an order, whip out your walker and stumble inside. You are killing the rest of us. Ciao.  


(If you would like to hear the sordid 911 call, just click the link below. Prepare to sob uncontrollably.)


911 Burger King Caller

EDIT: For some reason, I kept calling Jean, George. (Maybe George is really Jean in Haitian or….I am drunk again)


9 Responses to 911 Is Not For Fast Food Disputes

  1. Ram Venkatararam says:

    Nice one Tannerleah. Send your friend my way. I’ll set him up.

  2. Ram Venkatararam says:

    I wondered about that too…but figured that, yes, you were drunk

  3. Michael says:

    This is the most clear cut of beverage related racism since the cowboy bartender told Eddie Murphy he should have a Black Russian in “48 hours”. With sexy results!

    • tannerleah says:

      Michael – Just goes to show that times really haven’t changed. Although it is not always bad. When I am asked how I like my coffee, I say “Obama”…half coffee, half milk, and a whole lotta sweet sugar.

  4. Anonymous says:

    ‘Clearly, this was a case of racial profiling. Because he is from Haiti, the BK employee made the snap decision not to serve him based on the color of his skin’

    You, are a complete, absolute, fucking moron.

  5. Michaela says:

    your a fucking idiot and it did not happen that way. yoiu can’t deny someone a drink b/c of their skin color. i use to work fast food & YES you can run out of beverages you fucking jackass. all of your stupidity amazes me and i’m sorry you can’t pull your head out of your ass to think for yourself. sounds like a personal problem.

    • tannerleah says:

      I thought “anonymous” already covered this ground? My head up my ass is a congenital birth defect. And while it is a personal problem, I don’t see why you have to call me out in a public forum.

      Oh, and you CAN deny a person a drink because of their color. For instance, I don’t give my black friends the good gin because they always mix it with juice and poor it on the floor. See? Anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

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