Is Sarah Jessica Parker Hot Or Not?

February 8, 2009

On an episode of The Office a few weeks ago, they asked this very question about Hillary Swank. (In my opinion, most definitely hot). Today, I watched a new cosmetics commercial that features the face of Sarah Jessica Parker. Immediately, the “hot or not hot” question pops into my mind. The reason it is an issue is because I am assuming that the cosmetics people must think she is great looking…hence picking her as a spokesmodel.

Here is a current pick of Sarah:


What the hell am I missing? Why in the world would you pick Sarah as your spokesperson for a beauty product? Is it some sort of ironic match up? Said another way, are they saying “look how ugly she could be without our makeup?” After all of these years, why not get that honkin’ mole cut off of her face? (It has been brought to my attention that the mole, has in fact, been removed. So please replace the mole in the picture with a giant crater. Thank you). Still, so many questions.

I am not going to beat a living horse to death, (Mr. Ed would be envious of those choppers), but I just don’t get it. I didn’t get it when she was on Sex and the City and was supposed to be attractive and I don’t get it now. Plus, she has that gristly body that Madonna sports. Nothing more than a bunch of tendons and muscles wound tightly together. Is that supposed to be the “sexy” part?

At least with Hillary Swank and Jessica Biel, you can have some sort of argument. And I suppose it is even possible that some women find Sarah attractive. But in a “hot or not hot” test applied to men, I see no scenario where Sarah comes out on top. My God, even if you “Brailled” her you would go running for your life.

Ad agencies, please do me a favor. When you are trying to encourage women to buy your product, do not pick someone that looks like they have some sort of Equus heritage. (See how nicely I phrased that?) Pick a woman that other woman want to look like (hint…they should probably be mole-less) and that men are willing to leave their wives for. Here, let me help you. I present to you for consideration Bar Refaeli.


(Guys, her eyes can be found towards the top of the photo). Can you see the slight difference between Sarah and Bar? I thought so. The defense rests its case.