This is what a colleague told me recently. (And, yes, they know I write a blog). As I thought about this insult to my manhood, I started to wonder if maybe it was actually true? Maybe people that write blogs are sad and pathetic. Maybe their whole life is passing them by and they don’t even realize it?
With this in mind, I went to 3 of my favorite blogs to see if there was any truth to this blistering indictment.
First up is http://foodhere.wordpress.com/ This blog is owned by master small business owner Ram Venkatararam. Ram strikes me as a pretty happy guy. Sure, he was named after a type of goat but many of us have silly names. And, yes, he has to chase old men away from the magazine rack as they “adjust their trousers” while checking out the latest issue of Hustler. And once or twice a day he has to clean up the vomit on aisle two thanks to some drunk guy trying to buy another six pack. And, finally, sweeping up used condoms, cigarette butts and empty cans of PBR can no doubt be trying. But what we also learned recently is that Ram had an “almost” erection for about 30 seconds. Does this sound like a “sad and pathetic” man to you? I thought not.
Next we visit http://unemployeddad.com/ This blog is owned by unemployed entrepreneur, Michael. Allegedly, Michael lost his last job because two ghosts named “not me” and “I da know” set him up. (A document was later leaked on the Smoking Gun website attributing Michael’s firing to mental instability). Really, does an unemployed, Canadian man that roams around in a bathrobe all day and writes cartoons sound at all sad and pathetic to you? Of course not.
Finally, we take a trip to http://womaninblack71.wordpress.com/ The Woman In Black (WIB) apparently resides somewhere in England. (I deduced this from the fact that she is constantly throwing extra vowels into her words). Now granted, living in England is a good reason to be sad what with all of the rain, boiled vegetables and TV that consists of “A Man and His Dog”. But the WIB seems to be in pretty good spirits! Well, except that she recently had a disease that begins with “S”. Scurvy, skunk pox, syphilis, or some such thing. Plus she is now looking for friends on Twitter. Again I ask you; sad and pathetic? C’mon.
And what about me? I am a man (occasionally black) that is rapidly approaching the age of 50. I am gray, balding, overweight, depressed (which is NOT sad!) and have an unnatural obsession with Sarah Palin. So much so that a box of Kleenex must always be by my computer. Every waking moment I am not at work, I sit here and bang away on my keyboard only interrupted occasionally by searches for “Sarah Palin boobs”. Now I ask you, does any of this sound in the least bit sad and pathetic?
I am glad I have been able to vindicate my fellow bloggers. Next time you want to insult me, try a little harder. Poopy heads.