Blow Up Dolls Get Busted

February 6, 2009

Two blow up dolls who were publically performing sexual acts on an innocent man, were arrested yesterday in Cape Coral, Florida. The two deviants were found in various states of undress when police arrived. Officers noted that both suspects were particularly hostile and combative during the arrest. In spite of police requests, both suspects continued to hold their mouths in a sexy “O” position during the entire ordeal. They also refused to put there hands behind their backs to be handcuffed. Here is a photo of the captured criminals.


(You can try to hide your face, tramp in the front seat, but we know who you are).

Police identified the two dolls as Busty Plastikhips and Candy Oralgood. The victim was identified as George Bartusek. It appears George had picked up Busty and Candy and offered to take them to Publix to get some badly needed clothing. (I am not familiar with Publix but it definitely sounds like a clothes store). George parked by the main entrance when, suddenly, the two plastic bimbos attacked him.

One of the criminals forced George to take his ding-ding out and perform sexual acts on her/it. Then, without warning, the other jumped in and started bouncing on poor George’s lap. While this was happening, shocked shoppers that were passing by George’s Lincoln Town Car called the police.

As you can see from this photo, George was completely perplexed by the entire incident.


It is believed that Bartusek was taken to the hospital to have his ding-ding treated for plastic burns. Anyway you look at it, a truly heinous crime.

Busty and Candy are scheduled to be in court today for arraignment. They both are expected to plead innocent and insist they were not properly inflated at the time of the incident which accounts for their erratic behavior.

Tony Fatbelly from Dave’s Tire Shop will appear as an expert witness for the suspects.

Thank God these perps are off of our streets.