It’s Hard To Have A Penis

February 4, 2009

I know women think it is all sunshine and lollipops being a guy, but it isn’t. We are cursed with an evil appendage that controls are daily thoughts and actions. It does get easier to control when we get older but, when you are young, the one eyed snake often leads you down a path you wish you never travelled.

Case in point. A hot young woman on Facebook met a nice young man on-line and struck up a friendship. Before long, the two began exchanging intimate information and a relationship was formed. The young lady trusted her new friend enough to send him some provocative pictures of herself. In return, he sent her some nude photos of himself. The one-eyed snake was pleased. All was right with the world.

Here is a photo of the young lady…in real life.


Quite lovely, isn’t she? Yes, it’s true…the lady that was sending the hot pictures of herself turns out to be a dude named Anthony Stancl. It turns out that Tony exchanged pictures with at least another 31 other teen-aged boys aged 13 to 19. It is also believed there are a lot more of Tony’s “boyfriends” out there that are too embarrassed to come forward.

So what was young Anthony doing with these photos? He was trying to blackmail the young men into sexual acts with him or he threatened to release the pictures on-line. It turns out that most of these young men attended the same high school as Anthony, New Berlin, and he had ended up with some 300 photos. (It is unclear what acts these boys were asked to do and whether they actually did them).

So how does something like this happen? It’s simple, really. These boys had access to a computer and the Internet (as most kids do). They were seduced by a “girl” that was nice to them. Then, they got a nudie photo of this nice girl. At this point, all rational thought is completely destroyed…game, set and match. The trouser trout is now in charge of all behavior going forward. That is the power of the one eyed bandit. It is omnipotent and cannot be denied until at least roughly the age of 30.

So why did Anthony do it? The exact same reason. (Plus, you can probably add in a feeling of power. A lethal combination). Do girls (AKA “no swords”) fall for this kind of crap? Sometimes, but it is generally for emotional reasons and a pursuit of love. Admirable and righteous goals.

Now that I am approaching 50 and am the Master of My Domain, this is not an issue for me. However, I do have a teenage son. While I may not be able to completely protect him from devious people like Anthony, I implore you ladies out there to not take advantage of our young men. They cannot control the power of the sword at such a tender age.

It’s just not right to abuse this well known male defect and, besides, Jesus will be mad at you because he also had a trouser trout. (Why do you think he was extra nice to hookers? And, no, I am not saying he succumbed to their temptation. That would be blasphemous and I don’t do that…much). 

Thank you for your attention in this important matter.

(FYI. Anthony was charged with 12 felonies. He should have no trouble finding some man love in very short order).