As you know, there is a tradition that each President that is leaving office leaves a note for the new President. (Bill Clinton left me a note telling me where the best strip clubs are. He-he…Just a little Texas humor).
I just wanted to wish you well as the first colored negro black African American to hold this post. It is a difficult job and you need to use your brains a lot! Dick and Rummy helped me a lot so you will probably want some helpers too.
The media elite will try to trip you up with trick questions. Don’t let them! As we say in Texas, “fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice and we won’t be fooled again”. They also will try to get you to say you have made mistakes. I didn’t, so I never had to. Like, how was I supposed to know that Hurricane Katrina would get everything wet?
As a parent, it is hard to raise your kids in the spotlight. You might have it easier because I don’t think your kids are old enough to get drunk and puke on the Secret Service.
Oh, and don’t let Al Gore come visit you…he will never leave! I think he is still pissed that I beat him in the election. It serves him right for misunderestimating me and not realizing what a great strategery that Karl and me put together.
I know you said you wanted to end the Iraq war soon. Good, cause we really need to get over to Iran and kick their asses! Ahkma-whatever his name is was a royal pain in my backside. Dick and Rummy wanted to take him out but I said, “Whoa boys! Only one war at a time”. That is the kind of Presidential thinking that you have to do.
Well, good luck to you. I ain’t gonna lie…I was kind of hoping Sarah would be moving in (even if it meant the old bag of bones won the election). I had the Secret Service set up some secret cameras, if you know what I mean. He- he…just some more Texas humor. Although I think we can both agree we would totally hit that.
If you need anything, just give me or Daddy a call. God bless you and God bless America.
P.S. Don’t say nuke-u-lar. The press will razz you hard about it.