Tennessee Court Frees Confessed Killer

In yet another court decision that boggles the mind, Kenneth Dailey was set free from prison on Friday. Ken was in jail for confessing to the murder of Nancy Marie Lyons, a prostitute he had hired. He confessed to police twice that he had strangled Nancy during a fit of rage. Unfortunately, he had not been read his Miranda rights before the first confession. However, after being read his rights, he confessed again. The Tennessee Supreme Court ruled the double confessions as invalid and set Dailey free.

Here is a photo of Dailey and Lyons:

kenneth-c-daileynancy-marie-lyons 

 (And don’t even think of saying something snarky about Nancy’s mullet…may she rest in peace).

The good news, if you want to call it that, is that since Dailey never actually went to trial due to his guilty please, he can be re-tried on the charges. Double jeopardy does not apply in this case because a jury never actually convicted him.

Speaking of “double jeopardy”, let me digress a bit. “Double Jeopardy” was the name of an otherwise horrible movie only made tolerable due to the radiance of Ashley Judd. This leads me to a question. How is it possible that the Mother Judd, who is also attractive, had one beautiful child and then allowed Wynonna to spring forth from her loins? My God, what an unattractive woman. Of course, now I have to see her in Alli commercials which makes me even more sick to my stomach. It is not bad enough that I have to see her enormous head on TV, now I am stuck with the image of her “anal leakage” as she walks down the street. Why anyone would take Alli and drip poopy out of their butt all day is beyond my comprehension. I am going to be sick. Please Ashley, remove that terrible image from my head.

ashley-judd

 Ok, I feel a little better now. Where was I?

Oh yeah, the dumb a** court letting a confessed killer out. Can I make a suggestion? Instead of letting the killer walk free, how about you just punish the cops that screwed it up in the first place? When his Miranda rights were read to him does not change the fact that he admitted, and to this day has never denied, that he killed someone. There should be no scenario where he walks free. Hopefully, the physical evidence is overwhelming and they will send the dirtball back to prison in short order.

However, I have learned a valuable lesson. (OJ, if you are out there, please listen). If you ever get caught killing someone and there is no way in hell you are going to get away with it, blurt out as loudly as you can, “I did it!” when the police arrive. Say it as loudly and as often as you can. When they tell you to shut up, don’t do it…just keep admitting to it. Once they read you your rights, don’t say another word. Then, plead guilty to the murder and your case will get thrown out for an “illegal” confession. Sure, you will have to go to jail in the interim but you probably won’t have to spend your whole life there.

Of course, I would encourage you not to kill anyone in the first place. I’m just saying that if it is unavoidable, you now have a contingency plan. You are welcome.

Link to story: I wonder where I can find another hooker?#

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3 Responses to Tennessee Court Frees Confessed Killer

  1. art vandelay says:

    LMAO!

  2. anastasia beverhausen says:

    what about the SCUMBAG that sold sex for $$$? is that not illeagle? i thought she would be good looking but when i saw her my eyes started to bleed!!!

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