Move over Bill Ayers, there is a much bigger terrorist in the news and her name is Edna Jester. (Sounds suspiciously like a Muslim name, doesn’t it?) It seems Edna has a habit of keeping various sports balls that get hit/kicked/knocked over her fence. Clearly, she is a kleptomaniac. How clever of her to build a fence around her home to trap these balls.
A mother of one of the children that had his ball confiscated called the good folks at the police station and they stormed the house. It is unclear whether they were forced to use a Taser on the spry 89 year old but, fortunately, they were able to subdue her and charge her with petty theft. If you ask me, she should have received a full on larceny charge but I guess the Cincinnati police are just soft.
Police Capt. James Schaffer said that this was an “on-going” dispute so there is no doubt that Edna is trafficing these stolen balls overseas to terrorists. If not, she is probably using the balls to pay for her “alleged” crack addiction. Thank God they have at least temporarily taken this criminal off of the street. My hope is that she will be on an upcoming episode of America’s Most Wanted.
Ok. Let me get to the point.
I hope when Edna gets home she tracks down Kelly “I have way too much time on my hands” Tanis, who called the cops, and rams every ball she has collected over the years up her dumb a**. If she actually called the police because Edna took her kids $15 ball, I am quite confidant that even an 89 year old woman can handily kick her butt up and down the street. When she is done with her, she should grab the kid and beat the daylights out of him, too.
I am always impressed by the people that think law enforcement is their personal protector. Yes, Mommy Dearest could have just knocked on Edna’s door and asked for the ball back but why should she when she can just call the po po instead? Or how about this idea? Have your uncoordinated kid take up a hobby where he won’t be putting the ball in Edna’s yard every other day.
Freakin’ soccer moms are out of control. Free Edna!!! Free Edna!!! Free Edna!!!
EDIT: Some 2 months after the initial incident, Edna has decided to sue the Tanis family for “emotional distress”. Unless some specifics come out that show the Tanis family harangued or harassed Edna after the initial incident, I must say I am disappointed in Edna’s decision (although I am not surprised). Again, much like the Tanis’ decision to call the cops over the ball, Edna is showing poor judgment in filing this lawsuit. (I will add the caveat that there may be extenuating circumstances that have yet to come forward).
Where the hell is Rodney King when you need him?
(Thanks Jackie for the update).