Drunk Lennon Tune Fetches $30,000

Can I just say that I would gladly sell my drunken tapes for significantly less than the 30k Lennon’s tune cost? Sure, I am slightly less famous than  John but how many people have that kind of cash to throw down?

Also, I think I can come up with better lyrics than he did:

 “I wanna take all them new singers, Carol and the other one with the nipples, I wanna take ’em and hold ’em tight, all them people that James Taylor had . . . I wanna suck your nipples, baby!”

Really, John? That is the best that the guy that wrote “Imagine” could do?

By the way, I am pretty sure the “one with the nipples” is Carly Simon:


(I will say that, like John, I also worship at the altar of Carly Simon. Wow…what a woman).

I think you can see from the lyrics that John was not putting much of an effort forward. I would be much more committed in my drunkenness. Maybe it sucks because this was sung at a time when he was separated from Yoko Ono. I think we all know, at this point, that Yoko was the talent behind John’s solo career.

In fact, now that I think about it, McCartney carried him for the first half of his career and then Yoko for the rest. Did Lennon actually have any talent? I mean he definitely looked good in those round glasses but that’s about it. Hmm…maybe his entire career was nothing more than a sham.

Also, why in the world would he want to bang Carole King? Sure, compared to Yoko she is a goddess but she can’t hold a candle to Carly. I wonder if he went for ugly women because he knew he was living a lie regarding his talent? I guess we will never know.

Anyway, if you would like a much better drunk tape than the one that Lennon recorded, just let me know. I will happily sell mine for $10,000. However, unlike Lennon, postage for my cassette tape is included. I will also commit to including some retching noises at the end of the song. Oh, and I will make sure the words rhyme…it’s the least I can do.


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