That’s right, tomorrow is the national “Day Without a Gay” protest. This is a new effort to bring attention to the struggles of gays and lesbians throughout the world. It is also suggested that, in conjunction with “calling in gay”, people do charity work tomorrow and try to minimize spending. This effort will, hopefully, show the intellectual and financial power of the gay community.
So, simply put, anyone that does not show up to work tomorrow is gay. Put away your “gaydar” because you won’t need it…at least for one day. It is safe to say that Clay Aiken and other gay performers will have the day off. However, keep your eye on the less obvious gay performers. For instance, if Anderson Cooper doesn’t do his show tomorrow it will verify what many of us already know.
Also, this will help you identify your gay co-workers. Not so you can be hostile towards them but it could help you with Christmas shopping. Maybe a nice scarf for a gentleman instead of some macho crap. For the ladies, a nice flannel shirt. (The lesbians LOVE the flannel).
Lastly, if YOU don’t show up to work tomorrow, you can finally come to terms with all of those conflicting feelings you have had. You know ladies, the way you look longingly at Lindsay Lohan or, for you guys, that handsome Michael Phelps. Don’t fight your urge, at least for the day. Embrace your gayness.
Of course, on Thursday, if you feel dirty about yourself and regret what you did the night before with your neighbor Felix, you need to head straight to your local church where you can get the gay prayed straight out of you. It is a venal sin so you should be ok with a few Hail Marys.
Also, for guys at least, you might walk funny for a few days. That is normal. You will have probably used muscles on “gay day” that you have not used before. This should clear itself up. However, like an erection for my than 48 hours, continued pain should be attented to by a doctor…particularly if you think there is a chance that anything was “left behind”. (A ferret, for instance).
I wish you all a happy “Day Without a Gay” tomorrow. I hope you truly appreciate what our gay brothers and lesbian sisters bring to our communities. In many ways, they have brought color to an otherwise black and white world. As for me, I will see you all on Thursday! Big hug and kisses!!!