In case you have been searching for the Blessed Mother lately, you probably have been looking in the wrong place. It turns out that Mother Mary has been hiding out in the brain of Pamela Latrimore for about the last 6 years. Blasphemy you say? Here is the proof:
There you have it…plain as day. So all of this time you thought you saw Mother Mary on potato chips or grilled cheese sandwiches, you have been fooling yourself. She has been nestled quietly in a brain waiting for the day she could break out and be sold on eBay! That’s right, Pamela is not being Grinch-like with her photo and is willing to sell it to the highest bidder.
But let’s be clear. You don’t actually get Mother Mary, she is still living in Pam’s brain for some indeterminate amount of time. You only get a photo of her hanging out there. Still, there are very few good photo’s of the Blessed Mother out there these days so this is quite a bargain. Unfortunately, it is in black and white so you don’t get the same impact as full color… but it is better than nothing.
Pamela also verified that this is the “real” Virgin Mary from her frequent discussions with Jesus. It is unclear if you win the bid whether you get to ask questions of Jesus through Pamela, but it probably wouldn’t hurt to ask. (That would definitely drive up the bidding price of this once in a lifetime object). I can’t personally verify this but there is also a tiny chance that she could get Mother Mary or Jesus to autograph the photo. Again, that is not in the bid information so I am really just speculating.
Pamela is selling this piece of art due to medical problems she is suffering from Agent Orange and Dioxin exposure. While the Mother Mary photo might be amusing, this part of the story is not. As we all know, chemical companies have dumped toxins for years into the environment throughout the United States. There are a variety of studies that prove this beyond any shadow of doubt.
Unfortunately, the EPA seems to have a sort of inbred relationship with these companies and usually fails to impose the type of punishments and restrictions necessary to clean their mess up. It is no doubt better than it was but don’t kid yourself…big money, as always, still rules the world. It is a shame that innocent folks that just happen to live in the wrong place have to bear this burden for years and, sometimes, generations.
So, if you’ve got some money to spare, help Pamela out with her Mother Mary auction. Worst case scenario you end up with a nifty looking MRI of someones brain that kind of looks like a vagina to me. Best case, the Holy Mother pops out of the picture like I Dream of Jeannie and you probably get a new car and a dinner date with the J Man. Who knows, maybe God will stop buy and the four of you can play pinochle all night.