Who Knew Nursing Homes Could Be So Much Fun?

When you normally think of a nursing home, particularly one where the patients are suffering from Alzheimer’s disease and dementia, you probably imagine a pretty dreary place. Well not at the Good Samaritan Society nursing home in Albert Lea, Minnesota! No sir, that place is rockin’ and rollin’ thanks to the exploits of several young women.

Because of their ages, there are only pictures of 2 of them. (There are 6 in total). Without further ado, I present to you Brianna Broitzman, 19, and Ashton Larson, 18.

ashton-and-brianna

These two lovely young women, with their peers, understand that the old folks home is a lonely and boring and place. So, on their own initiative, they came up with all kinds of fun things to do. For instance, Brianna apparently likes to poke old women in the breasts, spit in the mouth of drooling patients and sit bare a** on the face of one of the patients.

Not to be outdone, Ashton enjoyed sticking her finger up the rectum of a patient, spitting water in the face of another patient and, my personal favorite, “deliberately bathe a resident in a rough manner so the elderly man would get an erection”.

Why did they do all of these crazy and silly things. Because they were FUNNY! See? And here you probably thought they were being mean to the old geezers. Anyway, when my brain finishes its final legs of deterioration, I definitely want to be locked away in this joint. You just don’t see this level of customer service these days.

Brianna and Ashton were charged with assault, abuse of a vulnerable adult by a caregiver, abuse of a vulnerable adult with sexual contact, disorderly conduct and failing to report suspected maltreatment. All are gross misdemeanors. While I agree they may seem kind of gross, I’m just sayin’ I wouldn’t have squealed. In fact, I would have probably tipped these fine young ladies for a job well done.

So, old people, if you are looking for a nice place to go crazy in, head up to Minnesota. Worse case scenario, you break out of the home and sneak into the Metrodome. Head to the 3rd level men’s room and ask for Lois. I promise you, you won’t regret it.

Another public service message brought to you by Tannerleah.

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6 Responses to Who Knew Nursing Homes Could Be So Much Fun?

  1. elizabeth3hersh says:

    Every time I read one of these astonishing stories, I think to myself: “and those are the ones who got caught!” This truly is a public service message by TL. He finds the gallows humor is almost any story and makes it palatable, (and yes) even a fun read. It is then up to us to take it to the next level. Do you know anyone in a nursing home? Are you absolutely sure you know how they are being treated? Really sure? Really, really sure?

  2. art vandelay says:

    This story pukes me.

  3. CMS says:

    Here are the actual reports if you care to see them –

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/1202081minn1.html

    http://www.health.state.mn.us/divs/fpc/directory/surveyapp/ohfcfindings/h5441019.pdf

    Here’s the email address of the County Attorney if you have an opinion you’d like to share with him. (If you’re paying taxes in that community, remember that his salary comes out of your pocket, so you’re his boss!) craig.nelson@co.freeborn.mn.us

    • tannerleah says:

      I would encourage everyone to read the PDF (second link). It describes the condition of each patient. We, as a society, sure do a horrible job in taking care of the elderly. They might as well have been left for dead.

  4. Bryway says:

    i agree with you finally someone who dosent trip out i as well would head to that place if i were elderly.

    • tannerleah says:

      Bry – It must be a guy thing. I get abused on a daily basis by women so I am not sure I understand what the difference is.

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