Of all of the washed up, has been’s, why bring her back? Was Danny Bonaduce or “The Hoff” not available? And of all of the possible formats to choose, a variety show? Really? Doesn’t that mean that the star of the show has to have some sort of tangible talent? Christ, at least Donnie and Marie could sing a little. (Plus Marie was quite the looker).
What is it exactly that Rosie is going to do? She has already used the “I am hot for Tom Cruise” hiding in the closet routine. Not to mention completely back stabbing the incomparable Tom Selleck. Sure, it all makes sense now that we know that she hates all men but who cares? She has no shtick.
You might as well give that cackling hag from So You Think You Can Dance the gig. Believe me, listening to Rosie sing will be equally painful. What’s that you say? Don’t watch the show? Obviously, that goes without saying. But what about all of the unsupervised kids out there? They might be unwittingly exposed to this horror show and be scarred for life…kind of like Squirrel.
I can’t believe things are so bad at NBC that they actually came up with this idea. Oh wait, yes I can. These are the same idiots that brought back Knight Rider. Now it is all starting to make perfect sense. If Gabe Kaplan were still alive, God rest his soul, we would be seeing the all new adventures of “Welcome Back Kotter” any day now.
I am going to go on record as saying this show lasts 2 to 3 weeks, max. Even if every Sam Ronson fan in America tunes in religiously, there will just not be enough viewers. Plus, it’s Rosie freakin O’Donnell! Eww…I just threw up a little in my mouth. But I had Wendy’s for lunch so it wasn’t completely terrible.
The only good news is that The Gary Coleman “Little People” Variety Show is the back up if Rosie should fail. Todd Bridges will guest star and show everyone how to make homemade bombs. Plus, Vern Troyer will get sh**faced and try to get his game on with Natalie from The Facts of Life. Mmm…Natalie was smoking!
OMG! She is even hotter today! Who knew? Excuse me, I have to leave now. Where the hell did I put my Kleenex…