Jen has been whining some more about how the evil Angelina “stole” her man while she was still married to him. Look, you can’t steal something unless it is put in a place where it can be stolen. Do you really think that any man working with Angelina Jolie is not going to fantasize about being with her? In this case, Pitt actually got the chance. Was there ever any doubt as to who he would pick?
If you compare the two, Angie trumps Jen in almost every category. I will list just a few:
Academy Award Winner – Angelina Jolie
Better boobs – Angelina. Just watch “Gia” if you have any doubt.
Bisexual – Angelina. And the women Angie goes for DO NOT look like Samantha Ronson
Younger – Angelina by 5 years
Willing to wear your blood around her neck – Angelina (Even though it was Billy Bobs)
Refused to star on a crappy TV show with David Schwimmer – Ms. Jolie
Tatted up like a cracked out whore – Yet again, our girl Angie
And the list goes on and on. I imagine it is very difficult to be as attractive and wealthy as Jennifer Aniston and not be at the top of the list. My guess is that for most of her life she has had any man she has desired. Now, with her ego crushed, she is left hanging with the likes of Vince Vaughn. Then she moves on to play mommy for John Mayer.
When you look at all of the details, Jennifer seems to be a bit of a whack job. She has admitted to having therapy and just seems to be “one of those” people. Again, she is an attractive woman and if not for her insanity, I might even be interested. But I just can’t deal with nut jobs. So, sorry Jen, scratch me off of the top of your list. (Besides, everyone knows I am waiting for Sarah Palin to become available).
If you are a Jennifer Aniston fan, you need to stop supporting the losing team. Join Angelina and soar with the eagles! I hear for each kid you adopt from Africa, Angelina will get a special tattoo just for you! Plus, she can walk on water, heal the sick and make impotent men chop wood again. Sure, she is clearly some sort of satanic mistress but who cares? Life is short…don’t waste it whining like Jennifer.
(Jen – I was just kidding. Call me, I am way better than Vince Vaughn).