No More Hookers For You On Craigslist.

Well, that is not entirely true. Apparently, no more seedy escort services can post on Craigslist in 40 states. However, the legitimate ones will still be able to operate. 


Huh? This doesn’t make any sense. If I understand correctly, the high end hookers are still in business but Crackhead Sally is out of luck. How is this fair? What about those of us on a fixed income? We can’t afford the 1000 dollar an hour chicks like Elliott Spitzer.


And when did ANY escort services become legal anyway? Am I to believe that you can really take women to a ballgame, drop them off, shake hands and go home to your box of tissues? Why use an escort when you can get the same treatment from most women for free? Women love free stuff and then leave you hanging.


There is some good news for those of you that must have prostitutes. Personal ads are still available for ladies of ill repute to use. The problem with Craigslist is that there is often not a photo accompanying the ad. While some guys may find this exciting, it seems to me it is a pretty big risk. What if you end up with this beautiful disciple of Jesus?




I suspect her ad said something like, “Hot, long haired dirty blonde looking for some action. Very unique eyes. I will have you praying for mercy!”


Granted, I suspect that the price would be right for this particular “escort” but you probably be left with a gift that keeps on giving. Plus, I really have to believe that Jesus would be doubly pi**ed off on this one.


As an aside, what did people do for hookers before Craigslist and the Internet? I know what they did. They went to the local bar and hooked up with the most desperate woman there. Sure, you could drive downtown but unless you were going to purchase an 8 ball on the same trip, not much point in wasting your time. Besides, a six pack can make any girl at the local tavern look just as good as “Jesus Girl” above. 


In the end, I suppose you could just legalize prostitution. However, as long as the cow is willing to give the milk for free, why bother? Sure, you have to feed the cow and pet her a little bit but that’s seems like a reasonable price to pay. Plus, just as with a prostitute, you can always dump one cow and go get another cow. (I promise you I am using cow as strictly a metaphor…mostly).


Please, be kind and tip your hookers…and cows.


4 Responses to No More Hookers For You On Craigslist.

  1. Elizabeth says:

    All I have to say is PLEASE bring Eliot Spitzer back as New York Attorney General to clean up Wall Street. PLEASE.

  2. tizzle says:

    Was that women like free stuff and leave you hanging aimed at me? Why can’t you leave that whole christmas party episode alone?

  3. tannerleah says:

    Tizzle – (In a drunken voice)

    But I’m a funny guy…why don’t the girls dig me? Is it because I have a little ding ding? I don’t get it. *sobbing*

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