Skinheads Plan to Kill 102 People. Oh, And Also Obama.

Daniel Cowart, 20, (pictured above with his cool nazi tattoo and glasses) and Paul Schlesselman, 18, came up with this brilliant plan to shoot 88 black people and then decapitate another 14. Once they were done with that, and I swear I am not lying, they were going to dress up in white tuxedos and top hats, drive really fast at Obama, and shoot at him while hanging out of their car windows. This plan just reeks of potential. What a couple of cunning masterminds.

The obvious question is, “Why the 88 shootings and 14 decapitations?” That seems to me like an awfully ambitious plan even for these 2 brilliant would be murderers. It turns out, in skinhead folklore, that 88 stands for “Heil Hitler” because the 8th letter in the alphabet is H. Get it? HH? Pretty damned clever.

14 stands for the 14 words you have to say to get in the neo nazi or KKK Klub. They are:

 WE MUST SECURE THE EXISTANCE OF OUR PEOPLE AND A FUTURE FOR WHITE CHILDREN.

Now, don’t hate on me nazi guys but shouldn’t at least one of you guys know how to spell the word “existence”? I looked on like 20 sites and it was all spelled the same way. That error alone is probably costing you a lot of really, really smart members.

I have just a couple of issues with this whole “Ocean’s 102” plan. First, isn’t Schlesselman a Jewish name? When did neo Nazis start letting Jewish folks into their club? Plus, why would he hate blacks? My guess is that he totally got screwed on his Bar Mitzvah gifts and needed to take it out on someone.

The next issue is how did they expect to kill 102 people at once with just the two of them? First of all, I seriously doubt that either of these young men can count much pass 20…but I digress. Apparently, they were going to go to a predominately black school in Tennessee. Um, I don’t know if anyone told Dan and Paul this but there are very high odds that the kids in any inner city school are packing much more heat than they would be. They would have got off maybe 2 shots before they were sliced and diced with box cutters. It would not have been pretty.

Finally, what the hell was the “drive real fast at Obama” part of this plan? Were you going to drive a tank? Was Obama just going to be strolling down a street in Crackville and you guys were going to do a drive by? And why the white tuxedos and top hats? Were you going to break into a song and dance number once the mission was completed?

I realize these young men are probably not the brightest bulbs in the pack and they should no doubt be seriously punished for such an offensive plan. They will probably be sent to prison and join a skinhead group where they will be protected. If it were me, I would make them attend the black school they were going to attack to a) understand that the black kid is just as pissed off as they are about life and b) get the education they are so desperately lacking.

And to you Paul, “Shanda auf Dir!” (That’s “shame on you” in Yiddish). Oy vey!

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