Family Barbecues Mom

Just when I start to lose hope in all mankind, I read a heartwarming story that lifts my spirits and makes everything in the world right again.

84 year old Ramona Allmond apparently passed away recently. Her desire was to die at home and be cremated. Well, it seems the dying at home part happened without much incident. So far, so good. Unfortunately, the Allmond family does not have a lot of money so how to meet the second part of her request was a bit of a challenge.

The wholesome, handsome man above is Ramona’s grandson, Tony Ray. Tony, being the intellectual genius that he is solved the cremation problem with impressive creativity. Tony and Ramona’s daughter Kathleen put Ramona into the BBQ pit and cremated her. It is unclear if they made smores at the same time but I do understand they sang Kumbaya over and over.

Granted, they had left her on the bedroom floor for a week before the cremation but great ideas often take time to come together. Also, I guess in honor of Ramona, they continued to cash her monthly retirement checks to the tune of $25,000. If you are a cynic, this might look bad.

Naturally, cynical law enforcement officials arrested Tony and Kathleen and charged them with embezzlement, elder abuse and disposing of a body without a permit. My suspicion is that this is another example of profiling and holding the average guy down. How could you not believe the story of a man that has a tattoo of a bucket on his forehead? That just screams honesty!

Anyway, if you are planning to start a home cremation service (and believe me, I have strongly considered it) make sure you get the stupid permit first. You don’t need “the man” breathing down your neck. And if you want to roast some hot dogs and make some smores, more power to you. (I understand cremation creates a fine hickory taste).

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4 Responses to Family Barbecues Mom

  1. squirrel says:

    Wow. They are genius really when you think about it. I would never have thought to use the BBQ pit. Then again I’m not crazy/dumb enough to think of this either. I love how you are so in tune with the news. Your blog keeps me updated while I’m away.

  2. tannerleah says:

    I am merely here to serve the public. My gift to humanity.

    (By the way, this would be a good example of a guy you should NOT bring home as a date).

  3. Anonymous says:

    Dude, yeah genius, have you also heard about the skull necklace thing? Oh yeah that was Smart.

  4. tannerleah says:

    I missed that part of the story but Tony keeps impressing more and more.

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