Thanks to the various government bailouts, I am still trying to wrap my head around what a trillion dollars really is. Trillion to me is the same as bazillion or gazillion…words that mean “a lot” but don’t really have specific value tied to them.
So, here is a list of stuff that each family in America could have received if the trillion was given to us instead of the monkeys on Wall Street. (You only get to pick one). In no particular order:
1 Chevy Aveo
20 gallons of gas every week for the next 3 years
90,000 Double Stuff Oreos
1 Chicken Nugget meal (w/medium drink) from Wendy’s for 4 1/2 years.
1,201,923 Q Tips. (Or, using 5 per day, enough for 658 years)
For the men: 400 “sexual favors” in the worst part of your city. (Something like this):
Or 10 hours with Eliot Spitzer’s call girl:
One condom per day for the next 183 years. (You will need them if you get the sexual favors…or so I am told)
For the ladies: One 2.00 CT MARQUISE DIAMOND W PRINCESS BLUE SAPPHIRE RING 18K. Bling!!!
Six 50″ LCD High Def TV’s.
A 250 year subscription to TV Guide
One Twinkie per day for the next 47 years.
11,236 songs downloaded from Amazon. (50,000 if use use a Russian site…not that I am encouraging that).
10.8 years of a six pack of PBR, everyday. (UF – you would cut that number in half).
I think you get the picture. We are getting screwed!!! C’mon Hank and company, stop taking our money and giving it to thieves. If you must give it to someone, give it to us. At least we will buy cool stuff with it.
(Feel free to add to the list in the comments section).