Can’t Lindsay Lohan Get A Better Looking Girlfriend?

I have seen a lot of pictures lately of Lindsay and her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson. By all accounts the two are happy although there seems to be some allegation about Ronson planting drugs in Lohan’s car and using Lindsay’s celebrity to improve her own status. Whatever. Of course people are going to leach off of celebrities…it’s as American as apple pie and if I knew a celebrity, I would be leaching as well.

No, my complaint about this situation is that Sam is not a very attractive person. If you are a mega rich superstar, don’t you get your pick of the litter? Surely there is someone out there that can fulfil Lyndsay’s needs that doesn’t look like Pete Doherty. Here is one of the better pictures of Samantha:

  

Seriously Lyndsay? You went lesbo for that? Good God woman, are you sure that’s not Pete?

(At least with Pete, you wouldn’t have to worry about him planting drugs since he would never be so wasteful with heroin).

I just don’t get why some lesbians feel compelled to have a girlfriend that fills the male role of the relationship. What is so wrong with finding an attractive mate? Does it make you somehow less gay? If Lyndsay was unattractive, i could better understand her choice but you don’t see supermodels marrying ugly guys, do you? (Excluding Billy Joel, Seal, Rik Ocasek…oh hell, forget that example).

As a celebrity, there is an obligation to fulfill the needs of the fan base. Let’s face it, men want to see “lipstick” lesbians. That is just the way it is. Every single adult movie ever made has a lesbian scene with attractive women in it. So Lyndsay, do what is right for your fans. Dump that little man Sam you are dating and see if you can bring Anne Hathaway over to your team. Sure, lesbians and feminists will hate you but your fan base will double overnight. And, let’s be honest, being popular is way more important than being respected…particularly in Hollywood.

As for Ms. Ronson, maybe she can then hook up with Rosie O’Donnell. The good news is, shockingly, Sam would then be the attractive one in the relationship. See? There really is someone for everyone.

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3 Responses to Can’t Lindsay Lohan Get A Better Looking Girlfriend?

  1. UF says:

    Sam and Rosie? I may never get that picture out of my head. Glad I am no longeer able to preform.

  2. squirrel says:

    Seal is not unattractive just because of the scars dad.

  3. squirrel says:

    you’re just jealous

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