The Aerosol Effect

Warning – Do not read this if you do not like to read about gross, bathroom stuff.

Still here? Ok. My daughter came home recently from college and proceeded to tell me how the bathroom on her floor might get shut down for use by anyone. When I asked why, she told me it was because the girls in the dorm would not flush the toilet and it was getting disgusting. Again, I asked why and she explained it was due to the girls being afraid of being contaminated.

Apparently, these young ladies are convinced that by flushing the toilet, a mist filled with germs will fill the room and take them over in a fashion similar to “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”. I have heard this story before but just thought it was a bad e-mail that probably had been shot down on by now. However, I searched the web and, sure enough, there was even a name for it, “the aerosol effect”.

I am not going to argue the fact that a mist with germs might be generated when you flush the toilet. Seems to be a reasonable assumption. Here is my problem with the thought process on this.

1. You are already sitting on a public toilet. That is full skin on seat germ contact. Isn’t that a bigger problem? The rebuttal would be, “I put paper down”. Fair enough, although it is “misted” toilet paper so I am not sure what the point is.

2. When you are sitting there relieving yourself, is there not some “splash back”? Also, certainly you have dropped a torpedo and had the nasty, germ filled water plop up and sprinkle your backside. I would suggest both of these are infinitely more germ loaded than the dreaded mist.

3. And what about the sink you are about to wash your hands in? The Internet tells me it is the second most likely place to have feces. The first? The kitchen sink! (I told you not to read this).

My point is, I have been flushing toilets my entire life (except when I lived on a farm in the 70’s and we had an outhouse. Now that was foul). I have survived it as has everyone I know. If you go around not flushing toilets, a couple of things will happen. First, you will be identified by your peers. You will then have the reputation as “that nasty, skanky, poopy girl”. Next, no man wants to live with a chick that doesn’t flush. We expect more out of you. (We will be the pigs, thank you very much).

It is so out of control, that there are actually products designed so you don’t have to flush the toilet.

This is quite possibly the dumbest thing I have ever seen. You sit this next to the toilet so that you don’t have to touch the handle. First, if any males live with you or are going to use this toilet, it will be covered in urine in no time. We can’t help it. God made it so we miss from time to time. His little joke, I think.

But even if it is for female use only, wouldn’t the dreaded mist settle on it every time you flushed? So now you are dragging poopy germs on your shoes or feet throughout the entire house. Brilliant!

Look, for the love of everything that is holy, flush the damned toilet you nasty college girls. Then go wash your hands and call it a day. Besides, if you think the “aerosol effect” is the nastiest thing you will touch today, think again. You are frequently touching things that are handled by single young men all of the time. Think that through a bit, let the light bulb come on, and you will really be disgusted. (Still confused? Think about the movie “American Pie”. Now you’re getting it!)


14 Responses to The Aerosol Effect

  1. O'Level, CSE says:

    I know one squirrel who will love this.

  2. squirrel says:

    Thanks a lot Dad. I think I’ll purchase that foot flusher for the girls in the dorm!

  3. UF says:

    tl- this is the same hysteria that fuels the wacky environmentlist, and the “screw the taxpayers the economy is going to crash” scams.

  4. SD says:

    These are probably the same girls that let a group of old nasty men do shots off their bellys with whipped cream. Too stinkin funny!

  5. tannerleah says:

    UF – I’m with you. I say, “kill the environment!” U-S-A, U-S-A!!!

  6. tannerleah says:

    SD – Sounds like you have experience with the “shots off their bellys” thing?

  7. sd says:

    No but article below reminds me of some other bad boys…… = COLTS SUCK!!!

  8. tannerleah says:

    SD – Why would you rip on your own team?

  9. sd says:

    You support Pat’s coach CHEAT-A-CHEK don’t yah?

  10. tannerleah says:

    As long as he is winning, I do. If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying. You might let St. Dungy in on this important bit of insight.

  11. Elizabeth says:

    Here is a quick and easy solution girls for dealing with public restrooms: buy a case (or package of 100) disposable gloves used by food service workers. You can buy these off eBay. Put a handful in a baggie or slip the package of 100 in your handbag (these will easily fit) OR grab a paper towel before going in. Before going into the stall, slip on one of your gloves or have your paper towel ready. Use the gloved hand to 1) lock the door and 2) lift the seat of the toilet up. Squat and do your business. With the same gloved hand put the seat cover down, flush the toilet and unlock the door while making a hasty exit. Peel off the glove and deposit in the trash. You don’t even have to wash your hands! If you do wash your hands, remember this: the first thing we were taught in nursing school (doctor’s too!) is to use a paper towel to turn on and off the water faucet, otherwise you are just re-contaminating yourself with E-coli. Ditto for opening the door on the way out.

    If you all think this is too much work or too fussy…then live with other peoples E-coli on your hands and please don’t go into health care.

  12. tannerleah says:

    Thanks Liz. I am sure your comments will really help them overcome their fears now.

  13. kapman says:

    Myth Buster just receintly did a piece on this very subject. If yo get the chance, seek it out and watch. The results are suprising. In addition, have a look at this:
    A list of other places to worry about.

  14. tannerleah says:

    kapman – thanks for the heads up. I watch mythbusters sometimes so I will keep an eye out for it.


    After looking at the list, I will stop putting the $1 bills in my mouth to give to the strippers.

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