Happy Birthday Danny!

As most of you know, I am happy to take requests here because it means someone besides me actually reads this crap. So, here is a little ditty that SD requested for her husband Danny.

Danny is a retired Navy man. Now, I understand your first thought will be, “you just said SD was a ‘her’. If Danny was in the Navy, then he was probably gay. What gives?” First, shame on you for thinking all men and women in the Navy are gay. That is simply not true…it is only about 50% from what I read on the Internet.

Now, I am not saying that Danny wasn’t exploring his sexuality when he first joined. After all, he saw this and thought it was a recruiting video, which he why he joined.

As you can see, the first guy in the video is wearing those sexy, white bell bottoms that the Navy people wear. How could Danny resist? (Good thing the Indian guy wasn’t first. Danny would make a terrible Indian).

Anyway, Danny joined and served this country gallantly for a long time. I believe by the end of his career, he was a General…or something. I understand he was in charge of a big bunch of boats. (They don’t call them “boats” in the Navy, they call them “yachts”).

My understanding is that once Danny got out of the military, he met SD. SD, being a good Christian, was able to pray the remaining gay out of Danny and then they got married. Danny still has a flair for style but in a masculine way. He is much less Carson Kressley-like these days and has become much more masculine, kind of like Rosie O’Donnell.  

Anyway Danny, I don’t know what disco club or leather bar you will be hitting tonight but I wanted to thank you for your service to our country and wish you the happiest of birthdays! You go girl boy!!!

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4 Responses to Happy Birthday Danny!

  1. The Chief says:

    Thank god someone prayed the gay out of me! To bad I can’t say the same for you. Don’t worry you’ll be in my prayers tonight. As you can see by my Navy title in the name block the Indian outfit would have worked too. As far as the gay thing goes I am not the one always waiting to hear Freddie Mercury and Peter Frampton on the radio. You know “Do you feel like I do?” Thanks for a great blog and a nice birthday wish.

    Respectfully
    BMC(EOD) Danny R. Johnson USN, Retired
    Call me “General” for short!

  2. tannerleah says:

    Freddie was not gay! Slightly flamboyant maybe.

  3. UF says:

    Actually he is a former Chief, as for the gay being prayed out of him I am not so sure.

  4. tannerleah says:

    Aha! The truth comes out! (So to speak).

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