Charges For Passing Gas Stink

Poor Jose Cruz. He was already busted for driving without his headlights on and possibly being drunk. He was truly having a really bad day. Remarkably, the day turned from bad to worse with the simple lifting of one butt cheek.

You see, Jose had the misfortune of passing gas at the police station in the presence of aroma specialist, Patrolman T.E. Parsons. And this was not just ordinary, run of the mill gas. No, this gas was deemed to be “very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons”. Poor Officer Parsons. Obviously, he had never been given the “dutch oven” treatment in his life or shared a tent or bedroom with other males. (Maybe the other officers will take up a collection to get him a gas mask). 

I generally fully support law enforcement because it is a difficult and thankless job. But charging a guy for farting? Really? Now, to be fair, the complaint did say that Jose had moved his chaired and “fanned” the gas at the officer but, still, this is beyond silly. What if Jose also had bad breath? That could also meet the criteria of “very odorous” and “create contact of an insulting nature”.

But, hey, why stop there? I have worked with plenty of people in my life that have terrible body odor. Can we lock them up alongside Jose? What about stinky feet? The world is full of those people. We would have to build new prisons in every county to lock all of these folks up.

It is clear to me that Jose was ticking off the cops for whatever reason. Fair enough. Instead of making up some ridiculous charge why not give him a few jolts with the Taser gun? Or, if you want to go more old school, just punch him in his melon. That will shut him up.

The lesson here is, if you must pass gas, do it in a crowded area and quickly blame someone else.

(I wonder if Jose had the officer pull his finger first?)

EDIT: Turns out the charges have been dropped by the prosecutor’s office. Maybe they were having trouble collecting evidence?


One Response to Charges For Passing Gas Stink

  1. harlanrusso says:

    If the guys being a dick to the cops, he deserves whatever he gets. He’s lucky he wasn’t in New York or they would have plugged his ass up with a plunger.

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