Well, you knew this was coming. This is one of the more tame photo’s that has popped up today showing Sarah. If the Republicans thought that men in America would handle this selection with any maturity, they were sadly mistaken.
For Christ’s sake, John. Have you never watched a porn movie in your life? There is a whole genre devoted to the “dirty” librarian wearing glasses with her hair pulled up. The only good thing that is going to come out of this is that the use of Kleenex tissues is going to skyrocket. (Note to self…buy stock in whatever company makes Kleenex).
Then we find out that she likes to hunt and fish. Plus, she loves to eat moose meat (insert joke here). That is going to pull in the whole “Deliverance” gang who will now dump Wonder Woman to amuse / abuse themselves using Sarah pictures. Which, by the way, is a truly disgusting thought. (Another note to self…double the stock order).
Sarah, here is some advice. First, go get your hair done by Hillary’s stylist…that kind of man-bob thing that she wears. Next, lose the glasses and switch to contacts. Some sort of dull color if they have it. Also, stop painting your lips with that “come hither” ruby red lipstick. Even hookers don’t wear that stuff anymore. And finally, start pounding down Twinkies and Ho-Ho’s. (On second thought, don’t touch anything that has the word “Ho” in it). Use Pop Tarts instead. (Dammit, don’t touch the Tarts either). Just eat junk food and bulk up to about 250.
If you follow my advice, you might have a chance. Good luck. (Worst case scenario, sign a deal with Hef for his “Moms in Alaska” pictorial).
One last thing. I swear to God that I never, ever thought I would see the acronym VPILF. (Sure, Cheney is hot in his own way but still…)