Bumper Stickers

Here is the inherent problem with bumper stickers. You are assuming that someone / anyone cares about your life or opinion. We don’t. We don’t care about your political beliefs. We don’t care what team you like or who your favorite NASCAR driver is. We don’t care that you “brake for animals” or are trying to save the Earth.

For those that have loved ones in the armed forces or have a noble cause they are trying to promote, we don’t really care but we understand your zeal and find it acceptable. We hope that you are doing more to support your cause than just slapping a bumper sticker on your SUV and calling it a day.

We really don’t get all of the religious stuff…especially the fish thing. What are you saying to us? Jesus was a fish? I thought Christianity was against evolution? And where are all of the Jewish bumper stickers? Something like, “I bought this car for waaay under sticker price”. I think there should be equal representation.

Lastly, the fact that little Tommy is the smartest 4th grader in his class is particularly uninteresting. I don’t know Tommy, I don’t want to know Tommy and I very likely don’t want to know Tommy’s parents if this is the kind of stuff they are bragging about. 

Now if Tommy had just won a Nobel Peace Prize, an Academy Award or cured cancer, I would LOVE to see that sticker. That would be something to crow about. Grade school or band camp? Not so much.  

Here is my commitment to you. If I am sitting at a stop light and pondering deeply whether you (in the car next to me) are a Jimmy Johnson fan, I will simply roll down my window and ask. No bumper sticker needed. I just saved you 2 bucks. You are welcome.


5 Responses to Bumper Stickers

  1. Elizabeth (AKA Elisheva) says:

    Actually there are Jewish bumper stickers. My fav:

    (Average student with a Jewish mother)

  2. hey..i live in Pikesville, MD..we call it Jewville..and all you see is Jew stickers on cars..they be reppin’ it hardcore here…hell i think i might be turning Jewish, for all i know i might already be Jewish..come to think about i have a Shalom bumper sticker on my car..and i whine alot…

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