Public Service Announcement

You have no doubt seen the relentless ads for NutriSystem. For those of us that are slightly more than petite, it is an enticing message. Eat real food and lose weight! Of course, we all know that this is a preposterous theory but we have hope. (The key with NutriSystem and most plans is merely portion control).

In any case, earlier this year I tried it for a few months and lost about 25 pounds. So, if you are loyal to the program, you will definitely lose weight. As for taste, my taste buds are not exactly an elite group so I can’t tell you anything other than I thought it was ok.

The issue for me is real food. I don’t know what their stuff is made of but it is not real in any sense of the word. I suspect it is equal bits of plastic, cardboard, titanium, food coloring and some mysterious gas inducing agent. Again, it doesn’t taste bad but there are side effects.

The most dire side effect is the gas that you will incur after eating a “blueberry” muffin. (Nothing remotely close to a blueberry in it). I made the mistake of eating two one morning and it resulted in the small earthquake located in Southern Illinois. I was too embarrassed to say anything but now you know the truth.

A colleague has suggested a class action suit as she was lifted several feet in the air after passing gas and twisted her ankle upon re-entry. This can be dangerous stuff so consider yourself warned. Yes, NutriSystem works but you will have an entirely new appreciation for balloons after your adventure.

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