When Is Obama Going To Take My Guns?

I mean seriously, I can only hoard so much guns and ammo. I am running out of money and room in my house. I was guaranteed that one of the first things Barry would do was either take my guns or tax my guns and ammo some ridiculous amount. Is this going to happen soon? 

Also, when are we going to get attacked again? That was another reason not to vote for Obama. Some impending attack on US soil. I have been avoiding public places for the last 100 days. You can call it paranoid…I call it vigilant. Still, I would like to do some site seeing this summer so, if the evil Taliban is going to do it, I want them to get it over with. 

And when exactly am I supposed to wear a towel on my head and go Muslim? This was pretty high on the list and I have been purposely avoiding towels so I would not be tempted. I have also refused to bend over (like they do) but it is making it hard for me to poop. Let’s just get this one over with. 

I also have been hoarding American flags because Barry is committed to changing us into some North American consortium rather than a stand alone country. I know this because he let that damned swine flu come in unchecked from Mexico. Dubya would have stopped it cold at the border. 

When are my taxes supposed to skyrocket? I am prepared to go underground and not pay any but nothing has happened yet. What is he waiting for? Why is Barry playing all of these mind games with us? You know he is going to do all of these things, as well as kill babies, but he seems to want to drag it out and torture us.

Has Iraq fallen back into a dictatorship yet? What are they waiting for? Barry was supposed to completely screw that deal up and they were going to go back to being a breeding ground for terrorists. Has that started and the liberal media is just choosing to ignore it? Could that explain why all of the above items have been ignored? 

I don’t know what is going on so I will keep stockpiling. Sure, I may look like an idiot at the moment but when all hell breaks lose, and it will, I will be ready and you will not be. Don’t come to me looking for sympathy. You had your chance.

You Can’t Chop Your Wife’s Head Off In America

Maybe that kind of stuff is ok in other parts of the world, but we don’t cotton to that kind of behavior in the US. You can stab, shoot, strangle, run over, or choose a variety of other ways to kill your spouse. Chopping the head off? That’s a big no-no.

Muzzammil Hassan started Bridges TV in 2004 in an attempt to balance the negative portrayal of Muslims after the 9/11 attacks. (I have never watched the show as it is not listed among the 600 cable channels that I have). It is unclear whether his efforts were fruitful. However, this we do know. Cutting your wife’s head off is not going to be seen in a favorable light. Let the Muslim bashing begin.

Muzzammil (or Muzzy as I know him) was charged with second degree murder. Can I ask a question? If chopping someone’s head off is not premeditated murder, what is? Wouldn’t it take a hell of a lot of effort to make that happen? Wouldn’t you start to get tired about half way through and think to yourself, “Maybe I am slightly over reacting. I should leave the head on”.

Muzzy was having trouble in his marriage as his wife had filed for divorce after several domestic abuse complaints. So, this guy was the quintessential stereotypical Muslim. What he claims he hoped to make better he has now just reinforced. This is just more crap that my Muslim brothers are going to have to put up with now. Muzzy is to Muslims what OJ is to blacks…a lightening rod. Also like OJ, he has left two young children without a mother. I don’t know what the Muslim equivalent for hell is but I hope that’s where Muzzy is headed. (Instead of 72 virgins you get 72 old, clapped out whores?)

There is some concern that the killing will be seen as an “honor killing” since the Quran allows husbands to punish disobedient women. Of course, if this is the case, then I take back all of the bad things I have just written about Muzzy. Clearly, an “honor killing” is perfectly acceptable and the way you decide to carry this killing out is irrelevant. Even a meat grinder or wood chipper is acceptable under those conditions.

While I personally don’t condone these actions, I do understand that different cultures have different values and belief systems. For instance, can you imagine a religion that doesn’t eat beef? There is one. What about a religion that thinks blacks are devils? Got that one too. What about a religion that believes in an invisible man that lives in the sky that hears and sees everything that happens in the world and has favorite sports teams? I think you can see where I am going with this. “Let he who lives in a stone house cast the first glass out of the rock window”…as it says in scripture.

I wonder if Chris Brown is Muslim?

Hey Israel – What Part Of This Is So Hard To Understand?

Look at this picture:

As Palestinians, Muslims, and basically every other group that dislikes you around the globe look at pictures like this, what makes you think they will ever stop attacking you? All you are doing is convincing them that they are right and encouraging them to be more set in their ways than ever. Haven’t we been down this death and destruction trail over and over and over and over?

I get that you cannot allow Hamas to continue to bomb Israel at will. But what you need is for the Palestinian people, as well as your other neighbors, to see it as a problem. From my point of view, bribery would have been the best thing. Give them something that Hamas cannot. Money. Lots and lots of money. (Yes, I know you gave them some territory. I can’t buy food with a handful of dirt). The good news is that you are a very wealthy country so money is no object. Is it “caving into the terrorists”? Who cares? You just want this to be over with as do many others in the region.

When you have pictures of injured children, it does not matter what country you are from. You are immediately the bad guy. (Even when you try to play it off as merely propaganda). And let’s face it Israel, you weren’t the most beloved country in the world to start with. This latest jaunt into “enemy” territory is going to be good for several more years of fighting. It is one thing to dislike your neighbors…like we in the US get fed up with the Canadians. But when you hate your neighbor with a white hot intensity, nothing good will come from it.

Using a bazooka in a knife fight, while effective, makes you look like little more than a bully. You are supposed to be the grown up in the confrontation. You are supposed to reach out politically across the world and build a coalition that will help defend your borders and protect your interests. But because of these rather frequent over the top outbursts, it is hard for your friends to defend your actions.

At this point, you are in too deep to turn back. You basically have to completely wipe out Hamas and ask, “Who wants some of this next?” Fear is a powerful weapon and it may be all you have in your favor at this point. No one wants to touch this so you will probably be free to go as far as you want. Just keep this in mind. Every person that already didn’t like you now will hate you forever. That’s at least another 2 generations worth of violence. Are you right in what you did? Maybe, but you will pay a heavy price.

Oh, and if you are waiting for a guy with the middle name of “Hussein” to help, it might be a long wait. However, we do appreciate you taking the “most hated nation” target off of our back…even for a little while.

EDIT: Submitted by Liz. (I understand the point about the Palastinian hiding behind the baby. But why did the Israeli guy bring a baby carriage to a gunfight?)

And You Thought Obama Wasn’t A Muslim…

You silly, silly white people. How many clues did he have to throw your way? You had a color photo of him in his full Muslim outfit yet believed it was just a “photo op” in a foreign land. You have his “the chickens have come home to roost”, bat sh** minister he has been seeing forever yet convinced yourself “he didn’t know”. Finally, you completely ignored his middle name, Hussein. You said to yourself, “I think that is really just because his dad is African”.

What a bunch of dumb crackers. He may have fooled all of you, but he never fooled me. He of the big, toothy grin that makes women go all Mandingo weak in their knees. Here is the proof you have been waiting for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s right. Your president-elect is boldly wearing his taqiyah cap in public these days. As if to say, “What are you going to do about it, beeyatch?” (I do have to admit, however, he does look cut in his nice Nike t-shirt). He is not even the POTUS yet and already he is rubbing your nose in it!

My God, we have been duped like never before. (Ok, that’s not really true since Dubya was actually re-elected. Still, you see my point). This smooth talker completely fooled a nation. What’s next? We have already seen that the rest of the world bows at this guys large feet. With this kind of power, who knows what he will be able to accomplish?

You like your bacon? Say goodbye to it. Beer or any other type of alcohol? That’s also a no-no. How about a nice donkey sandwich? Kiss it goodbye as well. (Actually, I can live with that one). My point is McDonalds will now be serving halal chicken nuggets. You think I am kidding? Head to Dearborn, MI and see what’s on the local McDonalds menu already. Don’t get me wrong, I like chicken but a brother must have some ribs!

So now that the genie is out of the bottle, we will have to live with Hussein for the next 4 years. If you are a guy, you might as well start growing a beard and buy your first taqiyah. Ladies, get that “wrap a scarf around your head” look going. My, how quickly things have changed.  Do you remember the good old days when you used to worry about Mexicans taking over the country? By the time Hussein is done, you will be begging for a taco.

And by the way, would it really be so horrible if this was your new boss?

 Didn’t think so…

Sarah Palin Regrets She Didn’t Do MORE Interviews!

This is exactly why Sarah is so lovable. She has a limitless amount of moxie. (Not to mention her amazingly good looks). When all of the haters said she spoke too much, Sarah comes back and says she didn’t speak enough. She is like the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail…”it’s only a flesh wound!”

Sure, she didn’t exactly nail her early interviews, but even skeptics have to admit that once they took the leash off of her, she really did a great job. The McCain team single handedly screwed up America’s perception of one of our best politicians in the modern era. In many ways, she could have been America’s “Lady Di”.

I imagine there will be those naysayers that will now accuse her of “palling around with drug dealers” but they are just being vindictive. Let’s face it, Sarah should have been at the top of the ticket and the RNC didn’t figure that out until it was too late.

I also think that her devout Christianity hurt her due to the fact that Barry Hussein Obama made being Muslim the religion du jour. This is just another fad that will quickly pass. Give it a little time…people will be just as hateful towards Barry as they currently are for Sarah. Jesus knows the truth!

Let’s be honest for a moment. The real truth behind the mean spirited feelings towards Sarah are primarily driven by misogyny. (And I know a thing or two about this). She is an attractive woman which, in itself, alienated a huge number of women. Women are just catty like that. They want their female leaders in pant suits like Hillary. It is less competitive for them.

On the other hand, men had a hard time getting past her ethereal beauty. They could not come to terms with the fact that someone so hot could be so smart. Men generally like their hot women to be moderately dense. Hence, the Barbie and Stepford society we live in.

So amazingly, in the end, the citizens of the US elected a half black, Muslim, elitist, non US citizen, bastard child. While that is pretty admirable, it shows just how frightened we are of powerful women. Sarah could have moved this country forward by light years. Instead, we are stuck with the, “Get back in the kitchen and get me a beer” treatment of women for years to come. Shame on you ladies for allowing this to happen.

Hey Sarah, look what I have for you!

 

Does Barry Obama Know Anyone Who Is NOT A Criminal?

It just strikes me as odd that Obama knows so many criminals. He is starting to make the Clintons look innocent. I mean, all of us have a story about some person we knew growing up that ended up in jail. But Barry is taking it to a whole…nuther…level.

First, he gets caught hanging out with the mad bomber, Bill Ayers. Then, he has some sort of relationship with Tony Rezko. For years he has been going to Jeremiah “the chickens have come home to roost” Wright’s church. And let’s not forget the illegal Aunt in Massachusetts who he conveniently forgot about.

I mean, how many more skeletons can a person fit into a closet? Well, he now needs to make room for Rod Blagojevich. Rod is the embattled Governor from Illinois with the suspicious looking hair. (If it is real, he should sell it for big money). Seems Rod put up Barry’s Senate seat to the highest bidder. While I personally have no problem with this, it seems it might be slightly illegal.

We already know Barry has done cocaine and still smokes. Oh, and did I mention he is kind of half black? Maybe he is an American or maybe not. Maybe he is a Muslim or maybe not. It doesn’t matter at this point because those ships have sailed. Still, it is just more O’drama for Obama. (you like that?)

You do have to admit that it is remarkable that any man with this kind of baggage could be elected as POTUS. Sure, it helps that he was running against Methuselah and a smoking hot woman that other women were jealous of. But still, considering the crowd he runs with, would it be at all surprising if we find out someday that the election was a scam? Wouldn’t be the first time.

I hope Barry does well as President, we need him to. But don’t be surprised if you hear that Obama and OJ are best friends. Or that he used to visit John Wayne Gacy’s house in Chicago every once in awhile. Or that he has some sort of secret deal with MLB that precludes the Cubbies from every winning a World Series. Who knows what depth his treachery knows.

Now that I think about it, didn’t Oprah start to get fat again AFTER Obama became an Illinois Senator? Coincidence? I think not.

Trying To Make Sense Of The Mubai Massacre

It seems we have reached the end of one of the longest terrorist sieges in recent history. Unlike the typical terrorist attacks we have become accustomed to, primarily suicide bombers, here were several smaller groups with the instructions to keep killing until they were killed. As is often the case in these attacks, the killings seemed to be indiscriminate although there obviously was a clear effort to target certain groups. When it was over, however, Indian nationals clearly took the brunt of the assault.

So what was the point? Who was behind the massacre and what did they hope to accomplish? One of the first things they accomplished, whether intentional or not, was the immediate finger pointing by the government of India towards Pakistan of implicit involvement. This is not terribly surprising but somewhat disappointing. If this was the intent of the terrorists, further escalation of tension between India and Pakistan, mission accomplished.

But what if it wasn’t? A gunman in Mumbai’s Oberoi Trident hotel said this, “We love this as our country but when our mothers and sisters were being killed, where was everybody?” He was speaking about the persecution of Muslims in India. Muslims make up a little over 13% of the population while Hindu’s make up about 80%. The most obvious example of this persecution came to pass in 2002 when Hindu nationalists started anti-Muslim riots in the state of Gujarat. Some 2000 Muslims were killed. There were virtually no convictions.

As is the case for minorities in many countries, Indian Muslims tend to live poorer, shorter, and unhealthier lives than their Hindu counterparts. It does not help that Muslim dominated Kashmir is not recognized as independent and has been the source of 3 wars between India and Pakistan. Was this why a Jewish center was attacked? To draw a parallel between the Palestinian grievance with Israel and gain sympathy from a wider audience?

In the end, as is so often the case in history, the people that are repressed and “left for dead” in so many ways, rise up in violence and anger. Is it right? Of course not. But when you live in absolute squallier and are treated as something less than a human being, why would it be at all surprising that this is the result? I am not suggesting acquiescing to terrorist activity. However, to meet their force with larger force is simply no answer. There must be an understanding that, regardless of religious or political beliefs, human beings must be treated with dignity. I am not sure that is too much to ask. 

If it was me, and it is not, I would continue to work on the relationship between India and Pakistan. I think the most obvious starting point is Kashmir. It seems to me that the Indian government should strongly consider redefining their border and allowing Pakistan to absorb much of it. (Obviously, China would be allowed to continue to control the Aksai Chin region).

In return for Kashmir, Pakistan would allow Indian and US forces unfettered access to the mountains adjacent to Afghanistan to attack al-Qaida and Taliban strongholds. This would help diffuse the mistrust between the Pakistani and Indian governments and not allow terrorists the ability to exacerbate these long held feelings.

Finally, India must address the situation with the Muslim community. Possibly through investment in infrastructure and political input IN SPITE of previous Muslim associated attacks on Hindus. What is clear is that treating Muslims as an afterthought can, and has, had dire consequences. Addressing this critical issue internally will go a long way in stopping outside forces from manipulating the Muslim community.

As is often the case, the vast majority of people caught up in this internal war are innocent. They are just decent people trying to carve out a better life for their families. It is up to the respective governments to meet the needs of their people rather than pursue some archaic prejudices that stop them from behaving in a humane and civilized way.

Why Is Jesus Going to Let Barack Obama Be President?

I just don’t get it. All of the republicans I know are good Christians (Well, maybe not “good” in the strictest sense of the word). Also, 75% of all folks that consider themselves Christians or Evangelicals vote republican. They have prayed like crazy for McCain and Palin to win. In fact, Sarah Palin has spoken personally to Jesus about winning…several times!

With all of these prayers and conversations with Jesus, why is he letting a black man of Muslim decent be our President? Is he playing a trick on the masses? Is this a punishment for the greed and avarice of Mssrs. Bush and Cheney? What in the world is going on?

If I have to step out on a limb, I am going to make a guess that the answer is Jesus could give a rats a** who is the POTUS. Much in the same way as he doesn’t care who wins a golf tournament, football game, or whether you find a rich husband. Jesus doesn’t operate in the lowly realm that we populate. I know we wish he would hear our every prayer and grant our every whim but I just don’t think it works like that.

No, I think he sits passively by and watches us beat the crap out of each other. That is the beauty of free will. You can do whatever the hell you want and you only have yourself to thank, or blame, depending on how it goes. I realize having an omnipotent presence on your team makes you feel better about your chances but you are only fooling yourself.

My God, or whatever name you personally ascribe to, is all knowing and all loving. He also does not like to meddle in our day to day business. That’s one of the things I appreciate most about him. I am allowed to rise or fall on my own merits. That opens a lot of avenues for me whether I choose to take them or not.

So my Christian brethren, don’t feel forsaken by the outcome of the election. Jesus did not let you down in any way. No, as usual, it was your fellow man that did the dirty deed. We all should know by now that man is a pretty imperfect vessel and with the wins come an equal amount of losses. I suppose it is all a matter of perspective.

I hope you have enjoyed my brief sermon tonight. If so, please put some money in the plate as I pass it around. Papa needs some new shoes. With all of my love, Brother Tannerleah

PS. Pssst…Hey Barack. I will give you $20 in cold hard cash if you open your inaugural speech with the following sentence:

“Whazzup my bitches!!! S’cuse me while I whip this thing out!!”

There Is No Crying In Presidential Politics!

Are you kidding me? Have you seen this picture of Barack HUSSEIN Obama? We are going to elect a POTUS that is a crybaby? Dear God, help us all:

Are you going to cry when you tell Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to leave Iraq alone and he says: مود احمدی‌ندارد خورده می‌شژاددارد خورده می‌ش

(That means “blow me” in Iranian). Are you going to cry when the Germans bomb Pearl Harbor again? I mean, c’mon, get a grip on yourself!

Look, I understand you are upset due to the recent loss of Tootie. We are all upset by it. Besides “Jo the lesbian”, Tootie was my favorite. She had such a beautiful smile underneath those braces.

But you are trying to be the President. You can’t let our enemies see you being all pussified in public. If you were crying for, let’s say, the scene In ET where Drew Barrymore was crying as the Feds tried to steal ET, I would get it. We all cried like a bunch of babies. But Tootie? Dude, get a grip on yourselves. 

For God’s sake, McCain was held in a monkey cage for 5 years and you don’t see him crying! True, his tear ducts have been surgically removed but you still don’t see him dry heaving. 

Wow…if only we had known this before now. I can live with the whole Muslim, pal of terrorist, hate guns and religion thing but this it just too much. If you win, I demand a Supreme Court recount. I am pretty sure the Constitution specifically states the following, “and so it be-ith that no man shall shed a tear in the pursuit of the-ith highest office in the land”. That’s is Article 3, chapter 7, Verse 9.52. Go ahead, look it up.

Jesus, Joseph and Mary…if we wanted a crybaby in office, we would have elected Hillary. And even then, she only cries every time Bill gets a hummer. (True, that is often but she mostly sobs in private).

And now look what you did. You made the Indian guy cry again because you stole his “single tear” look. I hope you are proud of yourself Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

PS: If you are over 40, I am about to stick a song in your head for the remainder of the day. You are welcome. (Oh, and Mrs. Garrett was also smoking hot).

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The facts of life, the facts of life.

Obama Is Hitler, Marx, Stalin And The Anti-Christ Rolled Into One

That’s a pretty impressive list, if you ask me. Before you have a knee jerk reaction, let me list some of the things we have learned about Senator Obama over the last two years. I think once you put all of the pieces together, you will see what kind of a man he really is.

As we have all seen, he is “brainwashing” people and trying to establish a Socialist state as well as the best (or worst) aspects of Communism. He hates Christians due to his being a closet Muslim, just like his father, and will betray Israel as soon as he possibly can.

He will take all of the hard working people of America’s money and give it to those who refuse to work…redistribution, if you will. He is anti gun and will do everything in his power to take guns out of the hands of the American citizen. Amazingly, he openly mocks those of us who think guns and religion are important staples of American culture.

He is pro abortion and would like to see more abortions so he can have more stem cell research by killing these innocent babies. He will clearly stack the Supreme Court to the left so he can take Roe v. Wade even further. He is pro-black and will purposely ignore the needs of whites, Latinos and American Indians. It is likely that Reverend Jeremiah “god damn America” Wright will play a large role in this effort.

He has direct links to Al Qaeda and fully supports a variety of terrorists organizations including the PLO. He still has close ties to William Ayers and will put America at great risk by decreasing the size of our military and failing to protect our borders. Illegal immigration will be completely out of control and the American taxpayer will foot the bill. 

Obama will continue with the efforts to create a New World Order and will enter into trade agreements that are not in the best interests of the American people. He will also tax and spend at levels heretofore never seen in this country…again, in an effort to redistribute wealth and socialize our country.

Oddly enough, Barack Hussein Obama very likely was not born in the United States. His birth record has been altered and there is no other documentation to support his claims. There also seems to be very little paperwork supporting his alleged college education at various US universities. Importantly, he also knew that his Aunt was an illegal alien living in our country and did nothing about it…clearly trying to hide her.

Let’s not also forget that Obama refused to put his hand over his heart for The Pledge Of Allegiance and mocked those that wore an American pin on their lapel. Also, in what can only be described as a slap in the face to our military heroes. on his latest trip abroad, he refused to visit injured men and women at a military hospital in Germany.

Obama has also admitted to being a drug user in the past. This speaks clearly to his lack of ability to make good choices and show good judgement. This may be why he has offered to sit down with the enemies of the US without pre-conditions. He also has no problem telling the world what our defense strategies are. For instance, his definitive time line for withdrawal from Iraq.

I haven’t even mentioned Tony Rezko, gay marriage or a slew of other issues that Senator Obama has working against him. In the end, it is clear that he has every intention of ruining the United States as we know it. A vote for Obama is a vote against everything that we cherish about the greatest country in the world, The United States of America. Don’t fall for his articulate, verbal sleight of hand. He is a devil dressed in a nice suit. It is up to all of us from stopping this national nightmare from happening.

Thanks for listening.

This message is approved by the various republican friends of Tannerleah. (I just put all of the stuff into one neat pile.)