Women Defend Mel Gibson?

I was speaking with some women about the latest Mel Gibson dust up. His latest quote, which was secretly recorded by his girlfriend, reads as follows:

“You look like a fu**ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of ni**ers, it will be your fault.” 

He goes on to call her a bunch of other names and makes various threats. She has also accused him of hitting her and being violent in the past.

What struck me about this was how the women I spoke with defended Mel on several counts. First, they felt that since he thought he was speaking these words in private, he has the right to say whatever he wants. Second, they seem to have already decided that his girlfriend is a gold digger so she deserves whatever she gets. Third, even if she was being verbally or physically abused by the Mel-ster, she could get out of it by just picking up and leaving. Hmm…ok.

Then the conversation took an even odder turn. Before long, Mike Tyson and Kobe Bryant’s names came up. In both cases, the women stated that the women that were raped (or “allegedly” raped as in Kobe’s case), knew what they were getting into. Basically, by going to a hotel room with any guy, you basically are obligated to have sex with the guy.

When did women become so hard? Why would you turn on your sisters like that? Do women really believe that when a woman goes to the hotel or apartment of a man, they get whatever is coming to them? When the young women that went with the Notre Dame football players to a “party” after being at a bar was gang raped, was she to blame for putting herself in that position?

I guess I always thought that women would protect each other because most of them have been in a similar situation at one point or another in their lives. But maybe this is precisely why they feel the way they do. Maybe they feel guilty for their own behaviors and have a hard time being empathetic to another woman who has made similar decisions.

I am really having a hard time wrapping my head around this. I have no sympathy for Mel, Tiger, Kobe, Mike, etc. If a beautiful naked woman comes knocking on my front door (and yes, I am strongly encouraging this behavior), I don’t have the right to do with her as I see fit. Just because she has put herself in a compromising position, it does not give me the right to take advantage of her. I kind of thought this was how most people thought but maybe I am more the exception than the rule. If so, this world is even more frighteningly fu**ed up than I ever suspected it was. (And, as you know, I hold humans to an awfully low standard already).

Ladies, get your shit together.

(Mike, next time, go for an all female jury.)

Thank God Bobby Brown Didn’t Punch Rihanna

Lord knows Bobby has had enough trouble in his life. He is no angel but let’s be honest; Whitney is probably not the easiest person to live with when she is all cracked out. I don’t condone Bobby slapping her around but I can’t say I am surprised. A black man is obligated to keep his woman under control. And yes, I am black so I can say that. (well…occasionally black).

Anyway, who the hell is this Chris Brown? Here is just another celebrity that I have no clue who he is or what he does. And the same goes for Rihanna. The only Rihanna I know is the song sung by Stevie Nicks. My guess is that these are both R&B singers and, I am not going to lie, I gave up on this genre the day that Barry White died. (I probably should have given up when Smokey Robinson died.)

Anyway, back to being a black man and keeping your woman under control. Mike Tyson said the best punch he ever threw was at Robin Givens. Ike Turner often had to keep Tina under his thumb / fist before she spiraled wildly out of control. Let me be clear, I am not condoning “O.J.-ing” someone but when a mans pride has been tested, he has to do what he has to do.

Sure, some white men have done it. Steve McQueen and Sean Connery have supposedly had to throw a few roundhouses to keep the peace at home. But they were just being macho thugs and had no real excuse. Black women are much stronger than white women both physically and mentally. This is why they are so difficult to control. Also, a black man’s reputation is the most important thing he has.

Do you really think that Denzell or Billy Dee would put up with some woman’s crap and just look like punks? Please…it just doesn’t happen like that. (Unless your name is Steadman). Now you don’t have to like these facts but unless you live within this culture, you have no right to complain or offer an opinion. In many foreign countries, this story would not even be reported. If it was, the guys that read it would think, “serves her right”. (Except it would read like this – لْعَرَبيّةلْعَرَبيّةعَرَبيْ عَرَبيْ . Trust me, I don’t lie).

So Chris, Bobby, Mike, or any of my brothers that occasionally have to throw a straight right cross to keep a woman in line, I understand. You are probably going to get a** raped in jail for doing it but what price are you willing to pay to keep your pride? Straight up.

Why Do Rich People Drive While Impaired?

And yet another celebrity gets busted for driving under the influence. This time, it was Heather Locklear. (By the way, doesn’t Heather look great in her mug shot, even with the raccoon eyes? She just turned 47. Talk about a MILF). I don’t know for sure but I bet that Heather is loaded with cash. Which begs the question, “Why the hell are you driving?”

I just don’t get it. I don’t even like driving while sober. You can rest assured that if I had the cash, I would have someone drive me anywhere I needed to go. Need to hit Taco Bell? Get the driver. This seems like a really easy solution to a never ending problem yet, for some reason, it doesn’t happen.

You might think, “well, if they are impaired, that is why they show poor judgement.” True, but the other thing that rich folks have is an “assistant”. You know, the gofer that meets every whim they have. Need some Chunky Monkey at 4 in the morning? Have the assistant do it. So, in my mind, if the assistant is worth a damn, they will prevent the stupidity from happening.

I do understand that a complete nut ball like Mel Gibson just can’t be stopped. Even if you tried to stop him, you would have to listen to his “I hate the Jews” speech and who wants to put up with that…again? But Heather Locklear? She seems so nice. Plus, she used to be a cop on TJ Hooker so she knows the law better than the average citizen. (By the way, if all cops looked like Heather Locklear, the streets would be full of criminals and drunk drivers). Hell, William Shatner is a way bigger drunk and you don’t see him driving around.

I guess the fact that Heather is still alive at 47 after having dated Tom Cruise and Scott Baio is quite the accomplishment in and of itself. (Tommy Lee probably didn’t help the cause either). I just don’t understand why she doesn’t have a chauffeur to drive her around. I have no beef if she wants to load up on Percocet or Darvon and cruise around…Just don’t get behind the wheel.

And you professional athletes, same goes for you and strippers. Stop going to the clubs! Rent a floor at a hotel and have your fun there. You know you are going to get shot, beat or stabbed when you leave the club so why bother? Only Mike Tyson should be hitting the clubs anymore. Everyone knows he is crazy and broke so no one will bother him. He is the new Leon Spinks. (I always loved Leon).

Worst case scenario, call me and I will drive you around. I can’t promise I won’t forget to pick you up because my memory isn’t as good as it used to be. But who cares? I will have your car so you won’t be able to get in trouble anyway. (This offer does not apply to Mel Gibson, Carrot Top or Paris Hilton. I don’t want to sit on her seats… Ewwww)