Internet Kill Switch? I Love The US Government

You know, sometimes I grow tired of the US Government and become convinced that they are essentially useless. Then, out of the blue, they do things that make me feel much better.

For instance, Barry arbitrarily forcing BP to put aside $20 billion for clean up and restitution. Sure, there is no actual law that gives him the power to impose his will on a private corporation like that but he did it anyway. And, we the people, being the vigilant keepers of the Constitution that we are, politely applauded. (Or, in some places, yelled “Booo Yaaah!!!).

Now I read that the honorable Joseph Lieberman, D or R or I from Ct, is offering legislation that lets the POTUS shut down the Internet in the case of a national emergency. What constitutes a national emergency? Eh…don’t sweat the small details. You might ask, “Why in the world would Internet providers go for such a plan?” Because the bill protects them from civil liability. So, as you can see, everyone is a winner. (The kill switch, of course, needs to come with the caveat that porn sites would not be shut off. We don’t need rioting in the streets).

I can remember when I lived in Ct and Joe was trying to stomp out the video game industry because it was creating sex crazed, killing machines. Unfortunately, the people who find free speech and intellectual independence important, what bunch of losers, were able to overcome his master plan. So, because I had access to Ms. Pac-Man, to this day, I still have an urge to eat certain fruit. But I digress…

This “kill switch” plan is brilliant. When things get crazy and the world is coming to an end, the LAST place I am going to go for information is the Internet so why not kill it? Shouldn’t I be watching Fox News and CNN to get the real story? Can’t I trust the media to tell me everything I need to know as it is spoon fed to them by the government? In spite of what Jesse Ventura says, the government has never lied to me before and I don’t expect them to start now.

Senator Lieberman, who is just chockfull of brilliant ideas, will also be introducing the “Bieber Law”. This law will prohibit males from having any sort of hairdo that will make them look girlish, or vagina-ish because “it’s just not right”. Bobby Sherman has vowed to fight this legislation. (How’s that for a little trip in the way back time machine?)

Thank you, US government, for taking all of the big decisions out of my hands. Frankly, I don’t need the pressure. Plus, you have an impeccable track record when it comes to this sort of thing. Weapons of mass destruction, Katrina, Wall Street, the Patriot Act…the list is endless. How anyone could doubt you is beyond me.

I have a call into Senator Lieberman’s office to ask him what I should have for dinner tonight. I sure hope he says steak!

P.S. I was going to write about the Honorable Alvin Greene from South Carolina. You know him, right? The unemployed, felony porn pending, Democratic Senate candidate. However, every time I try to type about him, I am overcome with uncontrollable laughter and my head keeps shaking back and forth vigorously. Thank you fine people of South Carolina for keeping me amused. I appreciate it.

Teen Kills Himself On Internet Because Of YOU!

Or, at least you could have stopped it according to his family. While I understand the outrage the family feels because Abraham Biggs Jr died slowly while on a live video feed, the anger is misplaced. It is similar to the desire of some to close the Golden Gate Bridge because people keep jumping off of it. Or to ban guns because bad people do bad things with them. Or to ban TV shows, heavy metal music or video games because they might send a troubled kid “over the edge”. (Yeah, I am talking to to you, Senator Douchebag Lieberman).

In the end, you can’t ban everything in the world because a few might corrupt its original intent. Should you put reasonable restraints in place? Sure, but be careful of your definition of “reasonable”. Look, I fully understand that when a loved one dies, someone or something needs to be blamed. But the truth is, particularly in suicide cases, the “blame” belongs to the individual conducting the act. It is a crying shame that the help Abraham was receiving for his depression and bipolar disorder was not enough to pull him out of his deadly spiral.

However, to somehow hold complete strangers accountable, regardless of their insensitive comments, is baseless. Is it despicable and disgusting that this is how some people behaved? Sure it is but let’s also keep in mind that this is a generation that is used to being deceived and manipulated. We have created a cynical society through much larger acts than video games and TV shows. All you had to do was watch the vitriol that adults spewed on a daily basis during the recent elections to see where this behavior comes from.

In the end, we all need to look in the mirror. The vast majority of the time, what our loved ones do is our responsibility. Stop looking for something or someone else to fix it or blame it on. If you need help, seek it out. If you are in a position to help someone, do it without waiting to be asked. Be Christ like, if you will…believer or not.

We know there will be more people killing themselves TODAY. If you know one of these people, stop what you are doing and do everything in your power to get them help immediately. Will it be enough? Maybe or maybe not. But I know that if everybody spent more time on taking care of the people that they love, instead of bitching about all of the things they can’t do, these kind of things could be greatly reduced.

Have a nice day!

EDIT: Here is a link to the original story.

http://tech.yahoo.com/news/nm/20081121/tc_nm/us_internet_suicide_1