We The People…Pretty Much Suck

June 9, 2010

How do I know this? Because nary a day goes by where my opinion is not fully reinforced by some douche monkey chasing the almighty dollar (or rupee) to satisfy their own greedy needs.

Recently, a colleague mentioned to me that his dentist said he had a cracked tooth and 3 cavities. Before he even had a chance to think about his options, he was brought into the “office manager” to schedule the work and figure out a payment plan. Since he had already paid several thousand dollars over the last few years, he couldn’t understand why his teeth were still a wreck. So, he sought a second opinion. Dentists #2 tells him that his teeth are fine…no problems at all.

Late last week, my 16 year old son (know as “The Boy”) rear ended another vehicle at a McDonald’s drive-thru. As you would suspect, a person can only roll so fast into another vehicle waiting in a drive-thru line. Info was exchanged and a cop came by. No one could see any obvious damage but the car owner, an insurance salesperson, was going to have it “checked out”. Needless to say, she called yesterday to say that she had filed a claim due to damage to her bumper and exhaust. Did I mention her son-in-law runs a body shop? Life is full of such innocent coincidences.

Whoever created the human race must be massively disappointed. We are the single most greedy, cruel, narcissistic, stupid, lazy, self absorbed species in the entire galaxy. Even when we think we are being generous, we are putting the wood to someone. Need an example? How about tithing.

You know about tithing, right? That’s the deal where you give 10% (or whatever) to your church of choice. Think about this. Someone sat down one day and approached God with this awesome offer. He said, “So listen God. You are the almighty creator of the universe and everything we are and have is due to you. We want to show our loyalty and humbleness by offering you a percentage of everything we earn. You deserve it. We were thinking you would get 10% and we would keep 90%. Does that sound fair?”

For fu**s sake, the Mob offers a better deal than that. And don’t forget, this is God you are negotiating with! He/she/it is really only worth a 10% offering? No wonder God/Buddha/Mohammed/John Smith and company are always causing natural disasters that kick our collective asses. They are getting ripped off and it is pissing them off. Way to go you greedy ass humans.

Normally, I direct my cynicism towards corporate, religious, or government establishments. The organizations that rule the world and lead the lemmings wherever they want them to go. But as a friend pointed out yesterday, any entity is nothing more than the people who created and inhabit it. Lashing out at corporate greed or government mismanagement is just an easy way to avoid the truth. And that truth is that mankind is a useless and selfish collection of fat, meat, and bones with jiggly stuff in the middle. We can con ourselves into believing we are something else but it’s a lie…and a weak one at that.

True, not everyone falls into that category but I am going to guess the vast majority do, including myself. As it turns out, it’s a shame that Bruce Willis broke up that big meteor that was going to blow up the Earth. 2012 can’t get here soon enough.

Have a nice day :)


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