Woman Gets Off Easy After Hiding Dead Woman On Toilet

I just love cults. I like big cults, small cults, crazy cults, mainstream cults…basically, if you have a cult, I am digging it. Why do I love cults? Because everyone remotely associated with one gets a free pass for doing the most bizarre things. After all, if you are in a cult, it’s really not your fault.

Patty Hearst, the Manson women, disciples of Jim Jones; the list is fairly endless. Some are punished for their deeds and some basically walk away unscathed. Our latest “victim” is Tammy Lewis, 36, of Necedah, Wisconsin. Tammy was hiding the 90 year old corpse of Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth on her toilet. Apparently, for a couple of months.

Why was Tammy hiding this body? Because her cult leader, Alan Bushey, told her that God was going to revive Magdeline. Now, I realize that this seems like a plausible outcome. Still, as Tammy would find out, keeping dead folks on your toilet, even if they are going to be revived, is kind of against the law. Fortunately for Tammy, because she was under the powerful mind control of Mr. Bushey, she got off with a $350 fine and a deferred sentence. Essentially, if she stops putting dead people on her toilet, she will not be in anymore trouble.

Look, I understand when you are involved in a cult the size of the “Order of the Divine Will”, there is probably a lot of peer pressure to deal with. I mean, with a whopping 6 members, what could she do? Plus, it appears she has two teenage children that she also involved. What were they told? If they prayed hard enough the old woman would come back to life. Obviously, they failed.

Here is the thing. How can all of these people be so crazy? I get that the cult leader is a nut. But Tammy had only met him about 3 years earlier. Does she really not know that putting a dead body on the toilet is probably a bad idea? And what about the kids? Even at 9 or 10, wouldn’t they have known enough to say something to a teacher or classmate?

I am sympathetic to those that are being manipulated by others. However, there has to be at least a tiny amount of accountability in a case like this. Tammy had no problem cashing Magdeline’s Social Security checks and giving them to nut job Alan. So this tells me, at some level, she was functional. Amazingly, her kids who were taken away from her due to her insanity might actually be given back to her. Why? What if the next cult guy she meets likes to eat young adults in a cheese fondue? Does she get to plead “insane in the brain” again? I just don’t get it.

Having said that, I need to start a cult as soon as possible. I promise not to put dead people on toilets or have them drink cyanide kool aid but those are the only promises I can make. We will live in a “compound” somewhere because all good cults have a compound. We will be heavily armed but wear stylish clothes. (I never cared for the “broke as a fool” look). We will be saved when our Messiah, Bigfoot, comes and gets us. He will devour each of us but his excrement will smell like fresh cut flowers and we will levitate into space. (Yes floating poop will seem odd at first but you will get used to it). We will ascend to the heavens where our true master, Megatron, will take us to our new home…Krypton.

I cannot tell you anymore at this time. Just let me know if you want to join. There is plenty of room for everyone! Primarily, our cult is made up of nubile, large breasted young women and extremely wealthy old dudes on the brink of dying. If you fail to meet either of these criteria, I will try to get you in but can make no promises. (Bigfoot is a finicky eater). May peace be with you my brothers and sisters.

Miley Cyrus Is NOT Dead!

Oh, thank God. When I first read about her being killed, I was sick to my stomach. No, not because Miley had died (although that would indeed be tragic, I guess) but because I was worried that her dad was with her. Billy Ray Cyrus is a true national treasure and his passing would have been unbearable.

From his beautiful, and Grammy Award winning, rendition of “Achy Breaky Heart” to his should have won Emmy award winning acting on Doc and Hannah Montana, Billy Ray is a true renaissance man. He invented the “soul patch” look and who can forget his homage to “the mullet”. (Also known as the “Kentucky Waterfall” and later known as the “Joe Dirt”).

One of the true examples of Billy Rays ability to multi task is the fact that Miley and son Cody were both born in 1992…to different mothers! This was no easy task particularly when Cody’s mother is described in Wiki as, “an unidentified woman”. That’s right. He banged out a baby with a complete stranger! (And you thought only women had children with complete strangers).

Some folks feel bitter about the fact that Miley has achieved all of her success due to her famous father. Let’s face it, Miley may be the worst little actress and singer in Hollywood. It is only through the connections that Billy Ray has that keeps the crappy Hannah Montana show afloat. If not for the show, Billy Ray would be free to do sold out shows worldwide and set all kinds of attendance and earnings records. But he doesn’t. He protects Miley and the other little bastard child just like a good dad should.

You keep rocking that soul patch, Billy Ray. And, with a little luck, maybe we can see you do a guest shot or two on the Ghost Whisperer…Jesus willing. Your talent and energy has lifted me from a crappy little trailer to a full sized double wide. I owe it all to you. You sir, are the wind beneath my wings.

12 Year Old Boy On Life Support Dies

The title of this post is, in itself, a heart breaker. What is unique about this situation is that the hospital wanted to “pull the plug” on this child while the parents insisted he remain on life support. Their Orthodox Jewish faith does not define death as brain dead, which the hospital insisted was the defining criteria. The battle was due to go to court but Motl Brody passed away from heart failure on Saturday.

Motl was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive brain tumor earlier this year and had been in the hospital since June. Doctors declared the boy legally dead on November 14th after his brain ceased to function. Motl’s parents, however, do not define death in those terms and insisted that he be kept alive through life support systems. The hospital claimed it did not have the “resources” to continue this treatment and the case was to go to the D.C. Superior Court.

For me, this is different than the Terry Schiavo and Karen Ann Quinlan cases simply because, although they both had profound brain damage, there was some activity. By all accounts, Motl had no brain activity whatsoever. So the question then becomes, who defines death? Is it the parents or family of a loved one? The hospital? The federal court system?

I am very sympathetic to the Brody’s desires but also understand that they are probably the least equipped to make such a difficult decision due to the emotional strain they are enduring. However, this was their child and they should have the right to dictate his treatment…at least at some level. I would be pi**ed off to no end if a hospital administrator said my child needed to come off of life support because of “scarce resources”.

In the end, I think I would want the decision to be the families. I just think that you need to respect their beliefs and appreciate their torment. It is a horrible decision they need to make and if it takes time to come to that decision, so be it. The only caveat I would have is if the patient was suffering and in pain. Obviously, with no brain function, I don’t think this was an issue in Motl’s case.

Believe it or not, I also think that a persons faith should be respected, whether it is a mainstream religion or not. For many people, it helps define who they are and to ignore or disrespect this is unacceptable, in my opinion.

Sorry for the downer to start the week but i thought it was an intriguing story that doesn’t have an easy answer.

Rest in peace, Motl.