Skinheads Plan to Kill 102 People. Oh, And Also Obama.

Daniel Cowart, 20, (pictured above with his cool nazi tattoo and glasses) and Paul Schlesselman, 18, came up with this brilliant plan to shoot 88 black people and then decapitate another 14. Once they were done with that, and I swear I am not lying, they were going to dress up in white tuxedos and top hats, drive really fast at Obama, and shoot at him while hanging out of their car windows. This plan just reeks of potential. What a couple of cunning masterminds.

The obvious question is, “Why the 88 shootings and 14 decapitations?” That seems to me like an awfully ambitious plan even for these 2 brilliant would be murderers. It turns out, in skinhead folklore, that 88 stands for “Heil Hitler” because the 8th letter in the alphabet is H. Get it? HH? Pretty damned clever.

14 stands for the 14 words you have to say to get in the neo nazi or KKK Klub. They are:

 WE MUST SECURE THE EXISTANCE OF OUR PEOPLE AND A FUTURE FOR WHITE CHILDREN.

Now, don’t hate on me nazi guys but shouldn’t at least one of you guys know how to spell the word “existence”? I looked on like 20 sites and it was all spelled the same way. That error alone is probably costing you a lot of really, really smart members.

I have just a couple of issues with this whole ”Ocean’s 102″ plan. First, isn’t Schlesselman a Jewish name? When did neo Nazis start letting Jewish folks into their club? Plus, why would he hate blacks? My guess is that he totally got screwed on his Bar Mitzvah gifts and needed to take it out on someone.

The next issue is how did they expect to kill 102 people at once with just the two of them? First of all, I seriously doubt that either of these young men can count much pass 20…but I digress. Apparently, they were going to go to a predominately black school in Tennessee. Um, I don’t know if anyone told Dan and Paul this but there are very high odds that the kids in any inner city school are packing much more heat than they would be. They would have got off maybe 2 shots before they were sliced and diced with box cutters. It would not have been pretty.

Finally, what the hell was the “drive real fast at Obama” part of this plan? Were you going to drive a tank? Was Obama just going to be strolling down a street in Crackville and you guys were going to do a drive by? And why the white tuxedos and top hats? Were you going to break into a song and dance number once the mission was completed?

I realize these young men are probably not the brightest bulbs in the pack and they should no doubt be seriously punished for such an offensive plan. They will probably be sent to prison and join a skinhead group where they will be protected. If it were me, I would make them attend the black school they were going to attack to a) understand that the black kid is just as pissed off as they are about life and b) get the education they are so desperately lacking.

And to you Paul, “Shanda auf Dir!” (That’s “shame on you” in Yiddish). Oy vey!

Who Is Kim Kardashian And Why Should I Care?

I have seen her name pop up now and then over the last several months but i have no idea who she is. I know she was on “Dancing With The Stars” so, in theory, she should be a star, correct? But a star of what?

With no info on her, I turned to Wiki for help. There, I found out she had a pseudo-famous dad in Robert Kardashian. Still, hardly enough to be a star. Then I read about her sex tape. So what? Who doesn’t have a sex tape? Hell, I have probably over 20 full length feature films.

It seems the most famous thing she has done is have a show titled “Keeping up with the Kardashians”. Were there no other people available to keep up with? What about the 3 girls from Pettycoat Junction? What are they up to these days? Or how about the A Team? I am always wondering about whatever happened to Mr. T. No such luck, I guess.

Anyway, Kim’s dad, (you know, the only actual famous person) died a few years ago. I did read that Bruce Jenner is part of the family but who cares? He was famous for about 20 minutes 30 years ago. Honestly, I just don’t get it. I guess it is cute that she has sisters named Kourtney and Khloe. But Roger Clemens also named his kids with “K’s” so it’s not like it hasn’t been done before. Maybe I am just out of touch but color me unimpressed with the Kardashian klan.

Fake Edit: Hold everything! I also just read that OJ Simpson is Kim’s godfather. Now we are talking. Makes sense since her dad defended OJ and helped him try to find the “real killer”. Now that I know that Kim is almost a blood relative of my man OJ, I think she is great. I may even start watching her show…as long as they don’t show Bruce Jenner. His stretched out face makes me ill. Take a look:

I know Kim is Armenian which I am pretty much sure makes her a terrorist but, if she’s good enough for OJ, she’s good enough for me.